The time has come...

for things to change. Yes, Yes... I have officially committed to a shift in life and giant move. It came to a point where I just HAD to do it. After weeks of waking up at 4 am, I just decided to stop ignoring what my heart was telling me. Now, actually making it happen...

Things have actually gone smoothly. My plan starts with getting out of my comfort zone- moving out of my comfy home with amazing roommates of 5+ years and quitting my job, or at least putting in notice for next school year. This resulted in a sublet on June 1st (moving to the mission for about 2 months, sweeeet) and getting transferred to a different summer school (also in the mission). Then, Mexico bound.

This is all good, my plan is going smoothly. But change.... as good and necessary as it is to grow and evolve, it can be sad and a bit scary. Especially when you've been in this "comfy" zone for as long as I have been. I'm beginning to get "ex- girlfriend syndrome," as I've coined it- getting super jealous when a roommate mentions finding a new roommate for my space or people at work begin asking about who will replace me. I'm somewhat territorial, as my "you'll never find anyone better than me" attitude has clearly gone to show. Hahaha... its true, though. In hearing my roomies interview a new girl today, I almost wanted to run out and say "No, I'm not leaving!" Instead, I buried my woes in healthy but still tasty brownie baking (baking is very therapeutic for me in stressful times. I'm sure the next week and a half will involve a lot of baking with a wooden spoon and random late night jogs, also to relieve stress). The thing is, its not necessarily the fact that I'll be living in a new country in the next 2 months that really affects me, its the sorrow I'm feeling when I think of closing this one chapter of my life, and leaving behind all the awesome comforts and memories, and the changes some relationships will have. Not to say that my closeness with my roomies or attachment to the little boy I've been working with for the past four years will end, they just will never be the same. And that makes me a little sad. Super sad. But, in the end, I know that this is what I need. its overdue, really. And my heart just can't hold out anymore.

All that being said, I am soooo Mother F'in excited!! Adventure, adventure and then some! At this point, i really have no plan past this... and don't really intend to until I leave. I know I'll work, and I know I will study the regional dances of different parts of Mexico... where to begin, is the question.

Packing sucks, I don't know where to begin. I have 5 years of stuff all around me. what to keep? I don't know. but, a yard sale is definitely in the works. And, i need to learn some more spanish. Speaking the past tense will definitely be a good skill to have.

Current Musical obsession:



Video is weird. Song is Awesome. Current story of my life. <3 <3

Mexico Bound...!!!

So, super shuttle will be picking me up in about 5 hrs. Ofcourse, I am just beginning to pack. with La Bamba in the background (essence of my childhood. Why is Ritchie Valens not my boyfriend...?). Eeeek, I am so excited.

So, I have decided my one ultimate goal is to learn some of the traditional dances of Jalisco while I am there. Hence, packing my character shoes and possibly a dance skirt as well. I am also considering some tap shoes. We'll see.

Currently watching....


Dream man. <3

Last night...

I bought a last minute ticket to explore Guadalajara!! I leave next Tuesday at 7am. Holy Crap... I'm SO excited. I have wanted to check it out for a while- I've heard great things about it and know some AMAZING people from there. So, I figured, Why not? Also.... a few days at a nearby beach won't hurt. Eeeek, I can't wait!

Things to do in GDL:

-Couch Surf
-Drink Tequila (home of...)
-Listen to Mariachi music (also, Home Of...)
-Banda Music!!
-Go to Tiangus Cultural (Outdoor market with an "alternative" scene)
-Go to atleast 4 dance classes (would love to find some traditional dance classes somwehere)
-Bull Fiiiiiight...?!
-Punk Rock show
-2 days at a beach, with Mango and Chili (Puerto Vallarta or Colima)
-Buy atleast 3 locals a beer
-Add to my Heart Shaped jewelery and Percussion instrument travel collection
-Salsa Dance
-House Party
-Ride a Bike
-not come home (i'm only half serious)

I think its official... i freakin' love Mexico! 10 years ago... no one would have thought. Oh man... i am just so excited I can barely sit still!! I'm sure this coffee I'm drinking isn't helping much in that department.

Currently listening to...



In preparation.

time to find a couch.

I'm itching for a new adventure. A lot. Siiiiigh.

I've been dancing a lot (surprise, surprise. I know). But, really. Been doing a good amount of events with the Haitian Company, Afoutayi. Following the tragic Earthquake in Haiti, my friends (and dance directors family) were brought over. We've been doing a lot of benefits for them. We also had a corporate gig in San Jose, which definitely qualified as a "sick day" from my day to day life. Oh, how I would love to just PERFORM to live. Last night, I did a tap improv piece at a benefit. It was pretty much awesome. I finally got a chance to do a call and response with a drummer. an amazing Puerto Rican drummer, at that. We just went for it, throw out some rhythms, and did a kick-ass job with it. My calling.... to a tap dancer Extraordinaire? I'm thinking yes.

I have another show with my Brazilian Company, Aguas Da Bahia, tonight. I wish all of my weekends were like this. Its really all I want to do.

Anyway, its already March (just about) and that really scares me. Oh well... just need to buy another plane ticket on a whim.

Current Musical Obsession, thanks to my amazing Mexican buddy in Copenhagen. <3 <3

Oh, Rainy SF...

Well, it is now 2010. Aren't we supposed to have hover boards and meals in pill form by now? Dammit, Back to the Future!!

The past week+ has been nothing but rain. Lots of Rain. Windy rain. All of a sudden hide under a garage door rain. Yes, all true. Not the best situation for a gal sans car. However, I manage. I have also managed to hibernate for most of this month due to said rain and a ridiculous desire to finish an online certification course I started. Yes, its all part of plan to be able to support myself in foreign lands. Its all good and dandy, I just want it DONE. Thus, locking myself in my room for hours on end or sitting in random cafes with WI-FI for hours on end. At least my laptop is getting good use. And my head feels like its gonna explode every now and then. Oh well, all in good time.

In between I've managed some good times and constructive brainstorming. Karaoke craziness, Vandella awesomeness, rehearsin' like crazy (stay tuned for info on a Haiti relief event), and lots of planning for a special needs dance class I WILL start in the next month. I'll have a life one day. Once the rain stops, I may pop my head out. Until then, my record player and note-taking nerdyness will continue to keep me company. Ooooh, that and Good Tea Sweet and Spicy flavor. Hot damn, that stuff is goooood!

Song of the moment...



Sing it, grrrrrrrrrrrl. <3

Times a changin...

So, Following the time spent with Family in San Jose for Christmas, etc, I went up to the Russian River with my friend Jennifer and her family. They have a house right on the river. It was coooold (spoiled bay area girl), but so nice to be away from this concrete jungle (Especially after being in Suburbia for a few days. I hate parking lots and strip malls more than i can say). Anyway... We were taking a hike one day in the redwoods- Beautiful, amazing trees and life that I don't get to see too often. now, this may be the itty-bitty hippy in me coming out, but I felt so at peace, so grounded. Connected to my surroundings, yes. But, even more so, actually connected with myself. Finally, all of the BS of the city, and the holidays, and artificial shit in life was stripped away, and I was able to just be. Now, at that exact moment, as I was saying all of this to myself in my head, my fita do Salvador (miracle ribbon from brazil) fell off. I have had this on since my second day in Salvador, Bahia in August 2008. It is something that I have come to notice and acknowledge on a daily basis since then. It became a part of me. As seen in this photo, it became part of everything.



I knew it was going to fall off, but when it actually did, I was completely taken off guard, and shocked. It hurt, I felt winded when I realized what had happened, as I held it in my hands. I thought back to the wishes I had made when I first got the ribbon, and it actually made some sense that it had fallen off when it did. I remember one wish having to do with being happy with me being me and another having to do with travel and adventure. Now, Over this year, I feel that I have done a lot of work in both areas, and am actually really happy with the outcome of both. However, I think that the travel/adventure section is yet to be finished.

Nonetheless, I feel really heartbroken over this. This was my on-going connection to the amazing life and love of Salvador. Yes, i have the tattoo in the same place to have a forever reminder of this amazing place and the amazing experience I had there. But, this was something tangible, fragile, that was still there. It made it seem so close, still. Like, It had just happened and I could still picture it all in my head, so vividly. But, now that it has fallen off a year and a half later, the length in time seems more real. And it hurts. Still. It makes me realize that I can;t keep holding on to something to make it feel like its still there. Rather, if I want it there, I need to make it be there.

Anyway, Happy belated Holiday season to the (non existent) people that browse through this from time to time. I have to say, 2009 was good to me. I'm sad its over, because it means time is moving toooooo fast. And I'm a bit sad I didn't do more during it. but... I did a lot, so I can't complain.

Highlights of '09
-First running race
-New York Trip
-Performing in CubaCaribe
-Pink hair
-Special Olympics
-Bruddy's Purple Heart Ceremony
-Finally trying to learn to Salsa dance
-Fixing my record player!
-Committing to my bicycle
-First Critical Mass
-4th of july at Dolores park!
-Sunbathing at the Russian River
-Yoga
-Learning Spanish
-Couchsurfing through Mexico
-Mexican Rockabilly and mi tatuaje de un calavera de azucar
-Turning 25
-Dancing with Tania Santiago and Aguas Da Bahia
-Tap dancing independently
-Crazy Awesome birthday bash(es)
-Kicking coffee for 2 weeks, then getting right back on it
-Holiday cooking and baking with my niece
-Russian River in the cold
-Me being Me











Thats all I can think of right now. I really can't complain about not doing everything. I did a whoooooole lot. And am happy about all of it.

I will end this by saying that I can't wait for 2010. Its gonna be awesome!!

Another year of adventure, dance, and musical obsessions. On that note...

Baile!

So, here I am. Just getting home from a dress rehearsal at Dance Mission with Aguas Da Bahia (afro brazilian). Its after midnight... I got to the space at 5pm, and I need to get up in less than 6 hours to go to work. My ankle is swollen, my body hurts, and I really need to sleep. But, I cannot complain about one damn thing. I was taking BART home tonight, and as I walking up the stairs to street level... I realized how freakin' lucky I am. I am doing what I love. Dancing, performing, living. Caffeine will get me through tomorrow morning, and Ice will soothe my ankle for a bit. Being able to do what I love, I wouldn't trade for the world.

Ok. I just really had to share. Now, sleeeeeeeeep!