So, in following my pattern of late night, last minute packing... I am just starting to gather my stuff together for my next adventure! Really, its not so bad this time around- I dont actually fly out until Monday, but I will be leaving SF tomorrow, as I'm flying out of San Jo and giving my room up for most of the month. So... I need to have everything packed, room ready, etc, by the morning. Oh... and learn spanish. But, why dwell on minor details..

>>Side note- I've come to the conclusion that The Meteors just might be one of the best damn bands, ever! Definitely one of the best psychobilly bands. Just sayin...

As I'm getting some stuff together, I can't help but think how big of thing this is for. I mean, yes, I travel alone pretty often, and really love it. Its strange to a lot of people, but its something that I just love doing, and hate having to explain my reasoning for it all the time- mostly because I'm made to feel like I need to justify it. But... back on topic.... This will be my first time traveling alone to another country (I basically was in Europe alone for a good chunk of time, but still had cohorts to go back to every now and then) and don't speak the language too well. Granted, my spanish has been getting a little better, and since I made this last minute decision a few days ago, I've been studying like crazy. Its just a bit... intimidating. I'm doing the couch surf thing, which actually doesn't make me nervous at all. I had my first experience with it in NY and had a kick ass time that I wouldn't have had otherwise. But, I'm actually relying on it as my means of housing while I'm traveling around. I really like the concept of it.... yes, it makes travel cheap, but even more, its a great cultural exchange. You actually get in the inside of where you are, not isolating yourself in a hotel room that really has little to do with the place youre visiting in the first place. Furthermore, it crosses over those boundaries/fears so many have when it comes to "strangers" or "foreigners" that so may focus on, even though they don't actually exist. I understand that this sort of travel is not for everyone, and in some ways can create more of an "adventure" than a vacation, but for me... its perfect. Its exactly what I'm looking for.

Even bigger than the solo/new people thing, the fact that I am even going to Mexico in the first place is pretty huge for me. In following my path to self discovery that being 24 has created for me, I decided that this was something I just needed to do. Alone. To make me feel complete, in a way. My mom is of Mexican descent, her parents were born in Mexico and immigrated here prior to starting their (large) family- making me half mexican. But, i guess, with the times being the way they were, I was raised with a very negative idea of Mexico and people of Mexican descent painted in my mind Almost raised to dislike that entire half of me. At a very early age, I decided that I would never go to Mexico, and pretty much ignored that entire part of me, because it was made to seem like such a horrible place. I know this sounds horrible, but it is the truth. And, only within the past few years, after finally willingly acknowledging this part of me, I came to the conclusion that alot of the views and opinions pushed upon me were just extremely ignorant, false ideas made up based on people's own interpretations of what they knew nothing about. I'm glad that I finally got past all of that crap, and can acknowledge it without holding back. But, now I feel its time for me to actually understand it, see it, be in it. Its one (major) thing for me to wipe these false ideas and stereotypes that were fed to me for years and years out of my head, but its not enough. I want to embrace my culture and learn to love it, for myself. I don't think I can move any further down my path of life with negative feelings toward half of me. So, like I said, I feel like this adventure will make me a little more complete. And, shit, even if I don't love it (but I WILL), atleast I'll know it a little better.

All of that being said, I am sooooo excited!! I'm flying into Mexico City, going straight my first Couch Surfing host, then after 4 days, want to head towards Oaxaca, move around there a bit, maybe surf!! Then I really want to go to Veracruz. I've heard great things about it- lots of dance, music, awesome!!

Random list of things I want to do-
Learn to make REAL mexican food
See some ruins- pyramids in Teotihuacan
Go to a Mexican Punk Rock show ****
Luchador fight...?
Surf!
Dance to Cumbia music
Real Mexican Hot Chocolate
Beach time
Learn some more spanish
Dance class! Lots of em.
Pamper myself in a hotel one night (just a must. I can do the couch thing for a long time, but I'm still a bit of a girl girl. Sometimes).

Just so much!! This is gonna be a good trip, and I am just ignoring/avoiding people's worried comments about getting fucked with because I am a woman traveling alone. I am aware that there is a somewhat risky element in going where I'm going by myself. But, I am not manifesting in any fear or worry- if you do that, then YEAH, asshole, something bad will happen. I don't want/need that negative energy put toward my time. I'll just be aware, all the time, even more than now. And have a damn good time!!!

>>"Sitting in the park... waiting for yooooo-oooooo-ooooou..." oh, thank you billy stewart<<

But, as always, when I leave SF for a chunk of time... I get a little sad. Its funny, like clockwork. I fear that I'm gonna miss out on something. This has been such an awesome summer. I think the fact that during this last school/work year I wasn't able to do much during the week really took a toll on me. I was able to do all of that this summer, and I loved it. knowing that I'm gonna have to get back into the routine makes me sad, but... Shit, I can get drunk in the mission whenever the heck I want. Dolores Park will still be there, and Ill still be able to go camping when I get back... I just miss everyone. Almost like something HUGE and AMAZING is gonna happen while I'm gone.

So, as my tired, babbling head is still working for a bit.... pack! 1 large backpack, a bag of trail mix, and a happy happy chick- recipe for awesome times!!

I love you, SF!! And all the awesome people in it!!

Just so excited...!!

Going with my summer theme of "self discovery," (what does that really mean...? I don't know either) I will be embarking on a last minute adventure, to take place super soon. I really really need to start getting things organized, cleaned, etc (as I will be subletting my room, I hope), but just can't focus. Because I'm just so excited.

Okay, now that I shared... FOCUS.

Trying to find an out... with blues in the background

I finally got my record player working... and am ridiculously obsessed with vinyl, again... Something about the scratchy background noise, BASS... its just so real. I got my hands on a super rare Stray Cats recording I've wanted on vinyl for a while. I swear, I'm like a 4 year old in a toy store when it comes to certain things. Especially when I hear a rare Buddy Holly cover. Le sigh...

So, apparently 3-4 beers puts me down for too long the following day, and makes me NEED some biscuits and fake sausage brunch from Pork Store. <3 I am a big fan of BRUNCH, but don't make it out as often as I'd like to. But, I do have to say... Pork Store is one of my favorite places to brunch. The Best Biscuits (and I love me some biscuits) and fake sausage patties. Plus some yummy mimosas (for the hair of the dog, or noon-time starters). Just a damn good place! Not as hipster filled as Boogaloo's (which, also, has some damn good biscuits. plus a wait of like 1 hr, 6 days a week). But still a rad setting with a lot of space.
>Side note< Perhaps I need to make an unofficial brunch list. Hmmm... soon to come.

So, now I'm sitting... listening to some old school blues while my mind goes crazy with "What if's..." I'm just so damn indecisive. It drives me crazy. I need to figure out what I'm doing, for the time being, but can't seem to commit to anything (which is an ongoing theme in my life, generally). I want to explore, but don't know where. Or When. Or how long... At one point can I just say f*** it... and just go? Or does thinking about this too much negate that philosophy? Maybe I just need to get over all the crap that goes through my head, and just do what it is I want. Logistics later...?

Oh well. For now, I'll just chill with Big Mama Thornton.

Go America!

"Maybe I didn't really know you. Maybe you were just a mirage. Maybe the world is full of food and sex and spectacle and we're all just hurling towards an apocalypse, in which case it's not your fault."

'Say Anything' is, by far, one of my favorite cheesy love stories. John Cusack, late 80's to early 90's, may just be the love of my life. Kinda forgot how that feels...

July 5th. Random posts, random thoughts...

Yesterday was probably one of the best 4th of July celebrations I've had since I was a teenager. When I was growing up, we went to the beach every 4th of july for a birthday thing/illegal firework situation. Always so much fun. The past 4 or 5 years have not been as awesome... Lack of excitement, boyfriends drinking themselves stupid, me being all emo-like. I decided to make up for it this year- Awesome Awesome picnic with awesome awesome people at Dolores Park. Soooo good!! So much fun, so much sunshine, so much mimosa goodness (maybe a bit too much). Yummy Chocolate, too much chip eating, and board games under a blanket. Le sigh.... It made me re-realize just how much I love SF and how many awesome people are in my life.

Long awesome day, led to a strange, intro-verted night. Which is where Say Anything came into play. And now, a lazy, foggy Sunday. And Netflix. And more thinking...

I think it's time for more. I know its time for more. I really believe that there is a bigger reason for this. And I need to take it as what it is- my time. Its right now. And I can't keep ignoring it. There will always be something. Which something am I supposed to overlook...?