for things to change. Yes, Yes... I have officially committed to a shift in life and giant move. It came to a point where I just HAD to do it. After weeks of waking up at 4 am, I just decided to stop ignoring what my heart was telling me. Now, actually making it happen...
Things have actually gone smoothly. My plan starts with getting out of my comfort zone- moving out of my comfy home with amazing roommates of 5+ years and quitting my job, or at least putting in notice for next school year. This resulted in a sublet on June 1st (moving to the mission for about 2 months, sweeeet) and getting transferred to a different summer school (also in the mission). Then, Mexico bound.
This is all good, my plan is going smoothly. But change.... as good and necessary as it is to grow and evolve, it can be sad and a bit scary. Especially when you've been in this "comfy" zone for as long as I have been. I'm beginning to get "ex- girlfriend syndrome," as I've coined it- getting super jealous when a roommate mentions finding a new roommate for my space or people at work begin asking about who will replace me. I'm somewhat territorial, as my "you'll never find anyone better than me" attitude has clearly gone to show. Hahaha... its true, though. In hearing my roomies interview a new girl today, I almost wanted to run out and say "No, I'm not leaving!" Instead, I buried my woes in healthy but still tasty brownie baking (baking is very therapeutic for me in stressful times. I'm sure the next week and a half will involve a lot of baking with a wooden spoon and random late night jogs, also to relieve stress). The thing is, its not necessarily the fact that I'll be living in a new country in the next 2 months that really affects me, its the sorrow I'm feeling when I think of closing this one chapter of my life, and leaving behind all the awesome comforts and memories, and the changes some relationships will have. Not to say that my closeness with my roomies or attachment to the little boy I've been working with for the past four years will end, they just will never be the same. And that makes me a little sad. Super sad. But, in the end, I know that this is what I need. its overdue, really. And my heart just can't hold out anymore.
All that being said, I am soooo Mother F'in excited!! Adventure, adventure and then some! At this point, i really have no plan past this... and don't really intend to until I leave. I know I'll work, and I know I will study the regional dances of different parts of Mexico... where to begin, is the question.
Packing sucks, I don't know where to begin. I have 5 years of stuff all around me. what to keep? I don't know. but, a yard sale is definitely in the works. And, i need to learn some more spanish. Speaking the past tense will definitely be a good skill to have.
Current Musical obsession:
Video is weird. Song is Awesome. Current story of my life. <3 <3
