Late post on the day of love that soooo many people over-do, freak out about, or try their absolute hardest to "not care" about. I've never been big on Valentine's Day. Boyfriend, no boyfriend, ladies night... whatever, its just never been a big deal to me. Similar to my feelings about New Years (amateur night), I feel like its just another day with way too much unnecessary pressure, with that same "Who am I gonna kiss tonight?!" freak out that too many people have. February has been a busy month for me, so V-Day just creeped up on me like any other day. It wasn't until a co-worker walked up to me, teary-eyed, that I remembered that it was that day. That "hold your special someone" day. Booooo.
I have to admit, getting chocolate and adorable little cards from my 3 year old students definitely made me smile. And, it was the kind of thing I wouldn't get from them on any other day. but the reality was... I had an awesome day, because it was just that- another awesome day, continuing to do things I LOVE with people I LOVE, while still appreciating everyone around me. Call me lame and cliche, but f*#! this crazy pressure to have a fancy date, with fancy roses, and the perfect significant other. If that's not the case every other day of the year, why make yourself feel so pressured to have that this one played out night of the year? February 14th included lots of 3 year old hugs, greasy Thai Food, and a bad-ass performance at the Salsa Rueda Festival. No fancy flowers, or diamond rings, or giant balloons, and I LOVED IT!!
That being said, small gestures and acknowledgements go a long way. Everyday of the year. Lets love who we love all the time.
Back with my amazing Afro-Cuban teacher, Susana Arenas, I danced for Ochun at the Salsa Rueda Festival! Such a beautiful (and FUN) performance, with some amazing dancers!
February has been good to me.
It crazy how much stuff can be packed into such a short span of time. And soooo much more to come. Returning to the stage with my Afro-Brazilian group Aguas da Bahia after a 3 year break! Then to figure out how to pass the CSET and get my ass back to Veracruz by May. I need me some humidity, antojitos, and Zapateado back in mi vida!!
On that note, my friends from mi querido Veracruz killed it in SF this weekend. Listen to this nonstop. I know I am.
New dresses, Brunch with besties, walks through the 'hood, and a movie night with favorites (as in theaters... fancy in these parts). Sunday was awesome. And I already can't wait for the rest of the week! Yeah, a night of insomnia, but I'm just using it as extra time to get pumped for the dance filled, new adventure days I have ahead of me. And I'm sure some extra nyquil will handle that problem soon enough.
And in case you're wondering, sweet biscuits and tofu scrambles in the Lower Haight are amaaaaaazing. 1/2 hr waits in the cold ain't got nothin' on us!
Days of saying something, and actually DOING IT! I'm glad you're back and you're treating me better than ever.
Ok... I'm about to get all sensitive, boring, and real-life for a minute, so braaaaace yo'self!
I just spent the past 2 hours doing house chores. Sounds super boring for the first weekend of the new year, or just boring for a Saturday morning, period. But, it actually felt really good. I was thinking back at how this time, last year, I was broke, lived in the nastiest apartment ever, and was just in a super lame, insecure mental space. And, I dunno... this morning I thought to myself, "Fuck yeah, I'm cleaning my house and bumping Willie Colon on vinyl on a Saturday morning 'cuz this is what grown women do." I will take self-sufficiency, independence, and grown-up responsibility any day.
That being said, the holidays this year were AWESOME. Lots of holiday part-ays. Went to some, performed at some. Fam Bam time, homemade mac and cheese by yours truly, and some badly needed time off (not from work, just from living the ongoing teacher/performer double life that I don't see ending any time soon. It makes me feel like Wonder Woman, but with less shiny gold spandex).
Performing at the Yahoo! Holiday Party. We DEFINITELY opened for Train (sorta...).
Las Primas en Navidad!!
My lil' cuzzo!
New Years... happened. Ja. We'll just say, there was champagne, a whiskey, jukebox tunes, and a party at my house. All fun. See for yo'self!
I like 2013 already, despite it being an odd number (I'm sooooo not a fan of odd numbers). I don't do New Years resolutions, but I DO have a list of 28isms that I totally plan on doing.
Here's to another year of Fun, adventure, Dance Dance Dancin', LOVE, and grown-ass woman-ness!!
my life isn't nearly as exciting as it used to be. Maybe its because I've been back home for the past year now (eeeek!). Maybe its because I'm not totally happy with my current work situation (though I am suuuuuuper happy about the fact that I am back on my feet once again and have been for awhile. Man, coming back to the US with no monies suuuucked). Who really knows. But, tonight, while hanging out with some friends I haven't seen in awhile, I said to myself "Noooooo more of that!" Starting this week, I will do one new thing a week. Yep, every week from now until forever, one new thing. Sometimes being back home can get kinda monotonous, especially after throwing yourself into unknown territories and loving it. But, I refuse to become one of those sick of work, bored with life, super cranky bears that so many 40-hr a weekers become. First thing on my list- drinking a Hot Toddie in a bar by myself. Doesn't sound too crazy and fun, BUT, it will be a first. I have been to many bars alone, yes. However, they've always been in a different state/country. Other than a show (ie- Ted Leo, cutest guitar playin' man ever), I've never had a drink in an SF bar by myself. This week, that will change! I do have to say, doing things alone used to be one of my favorite things ever. Shows, movies, long urban adventures that took me in circles that showed me new favorite spots in my city. But, as of late... I haven't been so on top of that. Le Boo.
On a side note, I've done some awesome things since my last post. Some highlights...
Performed with Duniya at Sierra Nevada Festival!
Celebrated my awesome nephew's 16th Bday!
Did my first radio interview!
Was reunited with some of my loves from Xalapa and D.F. Not to mention going back to the city que tiene mi corazon!!
Performed on the HOTTEST foot burning stage ever with these lovely ladies.
Went to NYC to perform at Bomplenazo with Las Bomberas de la Bahia!
Got the BEST album ever!
And turned a whole year older!!
Lots of stuff! Following the birthday note... I still need to make my list of "While I'm 28, I will...." Its my annual thing. Next time.
Until then, here is the tear jerking song that my new AMAZING album starts out with. Its amazing, his voice, the intro, the musical build towards the end. If this song doesn't make you wanna cry... I don't know what will. Damn Otis. Daaaaaamn.
XO- V
Saturday, May 12, 2012
New Month, new Apartment, New (old) excited feeling about life... I can't wait!!
I've decided that I will only surround myself with people as amazing and positive as me (Yes... I said I'm amazing) from now until forever. On that note, had a gig this morning (officially adding "Musician" to my list of awesome thangs) and am heading out to see CALLE 13 tonight! Reminds me of my crazy nights out with my BFF in Xalapa!
The past 3 days days included sweeeeeet vinyl purchases on the corner of 16th and Mission, veggie sliders and beer, grown up dance parties, packin' up and movin' out, yet again, Coffee dates and D Park, and my first ever performance in a Whole Foods! Literally, right near the check out area. What did YOU do that last time you went to a Grocery Store?!
Sometimes I can't believe how much I move around. But, it is ALWAYS great to know that I have AMAZING people in my life that got my back no matter what! Will I ever stop being the moving gypsy queen...? One day I'll commit to a new sofa and quiet weekends in. Until then...
Some Speed bumps here and there, and way too much obsessing over this whole "transition" phase of life. And too much obsessing over what other people do. But, now its over. Here's to the fun loving, smiling, dance partyin', too much whiskey drinking, Life living girl that ain't going anywhere!
XOXO- V
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Another Day in Xalapa. I woke up after a night of Salsa dancing Fun Fun Fun (El Bembe is the best), and taught a swing jazz dance class. Then, spent the day roaming the HOT streets of Xalapa with my roomie, Paty. We looked for apartments, talked about the creepster from the night before, and made fun of my bad spanish.... Its days like this that I'm gonna miss when I decide to leave this hippy town.
Things have been interesting in these parts. Less performance, more teaching... less drinking, more dance parties. Tension here and there... time to move again. Only problems is, I don't know for how long. Le siiiiiiiigh...
I spent the weekend in Puebla... was reminded of just how GRINGA I actually am. Ja! Fuuuuun weekend. One night, post outdoor dance battle, while roaming the streets of Cholula, we found this band, Los De Abajo, playing a live show. It was FUUUUUUN. Ska in Mexico just seems more cheesy and awesome. JA! serious Dance party and re-living youth status.
The night was filled with yummy food, a mini carnaval, and CUMBIA!!! Sonidero parties in Puebla are pretty Naco... The dudes are short, the places are dark... its pretty much rad.
Now between trying to pack, find an apartment, and a place to store all of my stuff... Im getting super excited for my month in SF!!!! Wooooohoooooo! I'll stop in Chulula one more time, then head home for a bit! I can't WAIT! Don't get me wrong, I love me some Mexico Adventurin'... but there is no place like SF!!
Aside from being good to be back home, see the family, the friends, eat some thai food, etc... It's the perfect time for me to step back and think about the rest of my Mexico Plan...
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
I've been MIA, I guess. The past 2 months have been... interesting, we'll say. I said goodbye to 2010 here in Xalapa, and had a great time doing it. We went to Xalapan "rave," which ended being hours and hours of Dub Reggae. It took me back to the Elbo Room days in SF on Sunday nights. The location was a bit outside of the city... kinda secret squirrel, and surrounded by a giant forest of trees. Good times.
Like I said... December was sloooooow, and January started the same. EXCEPT, I found out that my visa was expiring sooner than I had originally thought. Fast forward to my last minute trip back to the States. I wasn;t ready, but for some reason.. it just felt right. I kept it secret squirrel for the most part, but did manage to make it out to SF for one weekend to dance with my amazing Afro-Haitian dance company and have a crazy fun night in the Mish... wow, how things haven't really changed! Im not complaining, just saying, its nice to know that I decide to go back tomorrow... I'll be welcomed right back into my world of Dance, Beer, and fun.
Going back was good for me. A friend who moved to the East Coast not too long after I left told me that his short visit back to SF was like hitting a reset button... and he was right. I went back, saw the ones and love, got my Afro-Haitian on... and felt ready. Almost like it reassured me that I was doing the right thing. I do miss home, I do miss my family, and I do miss all the comforts. But... I just don't think now is the time for all of that. But, as always, I mother F'in LOVE you SF.
Flashforward, I come back, spend a few days in el D.F., then find out I have 1 week to move out and find a new apartment, and start rehearsing for an out of show town right away. Its been a busy couple of weeks, but I ain't complaining!
I'll be gettin' my tap on once again, alongside some Afro-Cuban singing and dancing. And, starting some Afro Haitian Dance classes next week. Sweeeet! Pretty stoked. We'll see how it goes.
So, I have officially been in Mexico for one month now. Wow, that was fast. I've been meaning to write something for a bit... my see ya later message to SF and those that I love, like a review of my the last summer, but i just haven't been able to bring myself to actually do it. I dunno... it was like by doing that, I was actually doing this- moving to another country, away from all that I know and love. Just too hard with everything I walked away from. I feel secure enough now, or maybe I just need some closure. Either way...
I must say, this move was A LOT harder than I thought it would be. Not in the "things" realm (ie- apartment, dance, work, etc...), all of that has been almost too smooth. But, in the heartache/homesick part of things. Seriously, I had no idea I was so attached to my life in SF... I guess its one of those "the grass is always greener" kinda things.
This past summer was probably one of the best SF summers I've ever had. I think I was finally living the life I always wanted to live in SF- lots of dancing, performances, biking, living in the mission, world cup, lots of awesome neighborhood friends.... I was right in the middle of everything, as I always wanted to be. It was really hard to say good bye. Its amazing how different life was once I finally got out of the richmond. Not to say that part of town doesn't have it's perks. It does, otherwise I wouldn't have been out there for so long. But... it was never really my comfort zone. Maybe its the San Jo in me... I mean, San Jo and the Mission are like really close cousins. Or fraternal twins. Yeah. Anyway, it was an amazing summer with amazing people. it makes me wander how different my life would have been had I moved there sooner. Would I have made this move...? Probably, but I think I would have hesitated a bit more. What ifs aside, I'm so glad that this summer happened, even with all its stupid moments and heartbreaks. It gives me much more to look forward to coming home to.
I am currently sitting in (one of) my favorite neighborhood coffee. No... I take that back. My favorite neighborhood coffee shop. With a spicy soy chai. and I am happy! Now this was a cafe that I used to come to because of its location (right beneath Dance Mission), in between classes or during intermission of a show. But, now... I can come here just because its so awesome. Also, they show the World Cup.
Anyway... Side notes aside, this weekend was the Ethnic Dance Festival! Now, it always seems a little strange. Months, Weeks, hours or rehearsal for a one weekend performance. But, let me tell you, the amazing experience connection and exposure to cultures from all over the world make it all worth it. Plus, we dance because we love it and can't live without it, so what better way to celebrate that than amongst artists with open arms from all over the world! Seriously, the instant feeling of community is amazing, both within your group and those around you. Dance parties with Indian dancers, shared desserts from the Tahitians, and picture taking with the Peruvians, all within a 10 minute period... where else can you get that?
Each time we took the stage was different, but all powerful and connected. It felt so great to finally be on the stage with the drummers, dancers, and singers. And Simbi Dlo. She heard us, I am sure of it. Standing in the wings before going on, flashes of the Haitian people who are trying to rebuild their home and truly are in need of water came to mind, and I had to reach for Simbi Dlo even more than before. It was a reminder of why I do what I do, why I love the stage. To be so alive, so in the moment, sharing those moments with so many others. Getting caught up in the movement, the music, and the constant connection between the two- it is something I cannot put into words. Just powerful and vulnerable all at once. I was chatting with one of the girls after a show, and she said that each time she goes on stage, she realizes that you never know what is going to happen. Which is true, we don't. But, you have to go into it with all that you have, in spite of not knowing. And I love that.
Overall, the weekend was amazing. As one of the tahitian dancers and I decided, the only thing that could have made it better was to NOT have to go work the next day. One day...
Until then, I'll continue exploring the world through dance, whether in SF or the great beyond. I have about a month here in SF, and I plan on taking as many dance classes as I can. By the way... Bhangra is FUUUUN!!
At this moment in my life, I am absolutely in love with San Francisco. Its like... my significant other, if you will. Always there for me to pick me up when I'm down, always full of surprises, and basically wears a sign that says "I fear commitment." Yes, my kind of man. That being said, San Francisco has shown me some amazing things... Lots of fog, a million dinners out, more new people than I can count, crazy/barely clothed Halloween nights in the Castro (RIP), races in the Park, and bike riding through the Broadway tunnel. But, I must say, that of everything this amazing city that I call home has introduced me to, the amazing dance world has affected me more than anything. The diversity, the passion, the joy of it has shown me new worlds, new languages, and who I am really am.
Its true. This once unsure, fragile little girl who lost herself in negative thoughts, eating disorders, and fear of taking a good hard look at herself is finally not only okay with the image and thoughts that look back at her in the mirror, but is Mother f'in proud of them (Take that former me)! And I'm positive I have my boyfriend's awesome dance community to thank. Ya see... I've danced forever. Age 3... shows, rehearsals, make up I'm pretty sure I was way too young to be wearing. And this went on and on and on... but with little acknowledgment to who I was. Kinda cookie cutter, but I couldn't stop. Flash forward... my first dance class with live drumming. And that was it... HOOKED. for serious. It was like.. all those fears and little things I'd tried to hide for years seemed small. Stupid. Just let it get beat out by the rhythm and energy of the drums, and passionate movement that matched it. I was set free, and I have followed that feeling ever since.
Now, my world revolves around any kind of dance I can get my hands on... Afro-Haitian, Brazilian, Peruvian, Indian... As I've spent the past few years drowning myself in these rhythms, dances, cultures... I began to wonder, what about my roots? I was in Brazil, studying the amazing dances and rhythms in the heart of Afro-Brazilian culture, Salvador, Bahia, when a brazilian man asked me where my family was from. I replied with my "mutt" answer, throwing in French, Native American, Mexican, etc, etc... And he asked me what Mexican culture was like. And I couldn't answer. I didn't know. Something is wrong when someone from an entire different country, continent, culture knows more about the land of your Grandfather than you do. For the first time, I felt ashamed. Not for being who I am, but for not KNOWING who I am. Where I come from. Suddenly, 'Gringa' had a whole new meaning to me. Dammit! Had it not been for the love and and desire to learn about new outside cultures through dance, movement, and music, I would have never come to this realization.
And so it goes... I am diving head first into a world of travel, language barriers, culture shock, and discovery in the land of my Grandfather. Mi Abuelo. The spanish will come, the dances will be LOVED, and any fear and loneliness I come across will be milled over with dance and music of this beautiful land. Mexico, Mexico, here I come.
And so, I say to my significant other... San Francisco, thank you for showing me the joys of Happy Hour, dances from all over the world, and ME! You are amazing.
Alright y'all. I am no longer in the comforts of my apartment, do not really have a home, and no longer have a job for the school year in San Francisco- Officially in adventure zone. Yep, that's right, from this point on my mind will be in the moment, more or less, and I am so freakin' excited!
I am officially living in the Mission. I mother f'in love it, and only wish I'd done it sooner. My days seem twice as long, since I've cut out all of my commuting time. I can walk to rehearsal. WALK. in 5 minutes. Seriously. Its Amazing. And its sunny. And I can see the Bay Bridge from my window. And, someone drove by blasting Selena from their car. Finally, I feel like I'm home. After my daddy helped me move in, we sat on my stoop and ate some elote and mango (from the man with the fruit cart, ofcourse) and I felt comfortable.
**Richmond district, you we're good to me for five years, provided me lots of safety and Russian bakeries, access to the beach on those rare days, and peace and quiet. But, I regret to inform you that I have found my spot and I will not be coming back. I will occasionally peak my head in the fog to say hello to dear friends and a Tommy's Margarita, but my presence will not exceed a few hours. I hope you understand.
Sincerely yours, Vanessa
That being said, I have become a bike riding sun dweller in only one week, and love it so much. Its crazy to think that in less than 2 months, I will again be saying good bye to another area, and see ya later to SF (where my heart is) to venture out into a foreign. I love my life.
In simialar news, I have been dancing as much as I can as of late. I am so sad to think of leaving my Brazilian and haitian dance worlds for a bit. But, I know my dance adventures in Mexico will be as exciting as ever (and difficult, I gotta learn some spanish, yo!).
Last Week, in Tania's afro-brazilian class, we did Maculele. I Loooove Maculele. You can see me doing a bit here....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEqbGlHrR-k
Just look for the red shirt, and big hair. For the record, I had nothing to do with the video or song.
Maculele is a dance of Afro-Brazilian decent, done usually (nowadays) at Capoeria presentations and within folkloric dance groups. Traditionally, performers beat sticks together to the rhythms of the atabaques. Some say it has afro-indigenous roots, some say it originated in carnavals of the 18th century, I say its is awesome traditional form of movement way and absolutely love it. Something about the rhythm of the drums, the intensity of the accents in movement and music, the songs sung with the drums.... whatever it is, I wanna jump higher and turn faster... then do it all over again.
Now, off to a some spanish studying and dinner with my lady loves.
Well, it is now 2010. Aren't we supposed to have hover boards and meals in pill form by now? Dammit, Back to the Future!!
The past week+ has been nothing but rain. Lots of Rain. Windy rain. All of a sudden hide under a garage door rain. Yes, all true. Not the best situation for a gal sans car. However, I manage. I have also managed to hibernate for most of this month due to said rain and a ridiculous desire to finish an online certification course I started. Yes, its all part of plan to be able to support myself in foreign lands. Its all good and dandy, I just want it DONE. Thus, locking myself in my room for hours on end or sitting in random cafes with WI-FI for hours on end. At least my laptop is getting good use. And my head feels like its gonna explode every now and then. Oh well, all in good time.
In between I've managed some good times and constructive brainstorming. Karaoke craziness, Vandella awesomeness, rehearsin' like crazy (stay tuned for info on a Haiti relief event), and lots of planning for a special needs dance class I WILL start in the next month. I'll have a life one day. Once the rain stops, I may pop my head out. Until then, my record player and note-taking nerdyness will continue to keep me company. Ooooh, that and Good Tea Sweet and Spicy flavor. Hot damn, that stuff is goooood!
So, Following the time spent with Family in San Jose for Christmas, etc, I went up to the Russian River with my friend Jennifer and her family. They have a house right on the river. It was coooold (spoiled bay area girl), but so nice to be away from this concrete jungle (Especially after being in Suburbia for a few days. I hate parking lots and strip malls more than i can say). Anyway... We were taking a hike one day in the redwoods- Beautiful, amazing trees and life that I don't get to see too often. now, this may be the itty-bitty hippy in me coming out, but I felt so at peace, so grounded. Connected to my surroundings, yes. But, even more so, actually connected with myself. Finally, all of the BS of the city, and the holidays, and artificial shit in life was stripped away, and I was able to just be. Now, at that exact moment, as I was saying all of this to myself in my head, my fita do Salvador (miracle ribbon from brazil) fell off. I have had this on since my second day in Salvador, Bahia in August 2008. It is something that I have come to notice and acknowledge on a daily basis since then. It became a part of me. As seen in this photo, it became part of everything.
I knew it was going to fall off, but when it actually did, I was completely taken off guard, and shocked. It hurt, I felt winded when I realized what had happened, as I held it in my hands. I thought back to the wishes I had made when I first got the ribbon, and it actually made some sense that it had fallen off when it did. I remember one wish having to do with being happy with me being me and another having to do with travel and adventure. Now, Over this year, I feel that I have done a lot of work in both areas, and am actually really happy with the outcome of both. However, I think that the travel/adventure section is yet to be finished.
Nonetheless, I feel really heartbroken over this. This was my on-going connection to the amazing life and love of Salvador. Yes, i have the tattoo in the same place to have a forever reminder of this amazing place and the amazing experience I had there. But, this was something tangible, fragile, that was still there. It made it seem so close, still. Like, It had just happened and I could still picture it all in my head, so vividly. But, now that it has fallen off a year and a half later, the length in time seems more real. And it hurts. Still. It makes me realize that I can;t keep holding on to something to make it feel like its still there. Rather, if I want it there, I need to make it be there.
Anyway, Happy belated Holiday season to the (non existent) people that browse through this from time to time. I have to say, 2009 was good to me. I'm sad its over, because it means time is moving toooooo fast. And I'm a bit sad I didn't do more during it. but... I did a lot, so I can't complain.
Highlights of '09 -First running race -New York Trip -Performing in CubaCaribe -Pink hair -Special Olympics -Bruddy's Purple Heart Ceremony -Finally trying to learn to Salsa dance -Fixing my record player! -Committing to my bicycle -First Critical Mass -4th of july at Dolores park! -Sunbathing at the Russian River -Yoga -Learning Spanish -Couchsurfing through Mexico -Mexican Rockabilly and mi tatuaje de un calavera de azucar -Turning 25 -Dancing with Tania Santiago and Aguas Da Bahia -Tap dancing independently -Crazy Awesome birthday bash(es) -Kicking coffee for 2 weeks, then getting right back on it -Holiday cooking and baking with my niece -Russian River in the cold -Me being Me
Thats all I can think of right now. I really can't complain about not doing everything. I did a whoooooole lot. And am happy about all of it.
I will end this by saying that I can't wait for 2010. Its gonna be awesome!!
Another year of adventure, dance, and musical obsessions. On that note...
Based on this weekend's activities alone... a few reasons I absolutely ADORE this city by the bay...
-Dance Dance Dance from all over the world -Indian Summer -Awesome garage doors -Movie in the Park night (thank you, Heath Ledger) -Brown bags and friends -Zeitgeist -Game night -purple carrots
Because I want to elaborate a bit...
I know the Haitians are in town when I have a hard time getting out of bed or walking up stairs. Yes, yonvalou like I never knew possible and everything is atleast done 2 feet lower than most would consider 'low.' And this is the kind if stuff I live for... For reference... see here.
Sometimes i wish i was a bit more tech savvy... but at the same time, i don't really care. Flash back to a scene at movie night... They were displaying the date and time for the next movie showing. We decide to make it a picnic, and take down the info... my friends pull out their Iphones... I pull out my mini notepad and pen. I'm okay with this... I like to write.
And now to cancel out any street cred I've ever had.... this makes me smile.
I have a bad habit of forgetting that I am in public... Yes, yes. i am that girl that sings along with her Ipod, or shimmies a bit with that Brenton Wood tune, convinced no one else can see me. Until I notice people looking at me awkwardly... don't mind it much, just saying.
So, today on the bus ride home, the following article made me laugh laugh laugh. Crazy looks and all, I just couldn't stop. Thank you SF weekly. And Dan Savage.
I have been in a stable poly relationship for 20 years. A good friend of mine knows this but rejects poly as a lifestyle choice for himself. He is in a "monogamous" relationship now. But he is willing to cheat on his girlfriend—with me if I wanted, but I'm not keen. My question is this: Why would someone pick cheating when they know about open or poly relationships? I don't understand. I don't see the logic in it. —Honest Open Poly Eros
Isn't it obvious? Your friend wants to have sex with other people, HOPE, but he doesn't want his girlfriend having sex with other people. What I don't understand is why an honest poly can be friendly with a dishonest cheater. That's like an out gay person being friends with a tormented closet case—where's the logic in that? And this has nothing to do with your question, HOPE, but I've got a little space to kill: The Bell Shoals Baptist Church in Brandon, Florida, made the news last week when its pastor replaced the megachurch's 10 Pepsi vending machines with 10 Coke machines. The pastor felt that Pepsi was far too supportive of—can you guess?—"the gay lifestyle." What I found most remarkable about this story wasn't the stupidity—more on that in a moment—but the fact that a single church in Florida has 10 soda-pop vending machines. Ten! You would think the good Christians at Bell Shoals could make it through an hour or two on a Sunday without a cold can of corn syrup. And psst… Bell Shoals? Coke supports gay rights, too. Your best gay-hatin' soda-pop option may be ZamZam Cola. It was a subsidiary of Pepsi, true, but that was before the Islamic Revolution. Made in Iran, ZamZam Cola is the most popular soft drink in Saudi Arabia, and I'm guessing the good folks at ZamZam don't like the gays any more than you do. But if the "soft drink of the Hajj" doesn't appeal to you, Bell Shoals, how about asking your parishioners to go without soda pop for an hour a week?
I finally got my record player working... and am ridiculously obsessed with vinyl, again... Something about the scratchy background noise, BASS... its just so real. I got my hands on a super rare Stray Cats recording I've wanted on vinyl for a while. I swear, I'm like a 4 year old in a toy store when it comes to certain things. Especially when I hear a rare Buddy Holly cover. Le sigh...
So, apparently 3-4 beers puts me down for too long the following day, and makes me NEED some biscuits and fake sausage brunch from Pork Store. <3 I am a big fan of BRUNCH, but don't make it out as often as I'd like to. But, I do have to say... Pork Store is one of my favorite places to brunch. The Best Biscuits (and I love me some biscuits) and fake sausage patties. Plus some yummy mimosas (for the hair of the dog, or noon-time starters). Just a damn good place! Not as hipster filled as Boogaloo's (which, also, has some damn good biscuits. plus a wait of like 1 hr, 6 days a week). But still a rad setting with a lot of space. >Side note< Perhaps I need to make an unofficial brunch list. Hmmm... soon to come.
So, now I'm sitting... listening to some old school blues while my mind goes crazy with "What if's..." I'm just so damn indecisive. It drives me crazy. I need to figure out what I'm doing, for the time being, but can't seem to commit to anything (which is an ongoing theme in my life, generally). I want to explore, but don't know where. Or When. Or how long... At one point can I just say f*** it... and just go? Or does thinking about this too much negate that philosophy? Maybe I just need to get over all the crap that goes through my head, and just do what it is I want. Logistics later...?
Oh well. For now, I'll just chill with Big Mama Thornton.
"Maybe I didn't really know you. Maybe you were just a mirage. Maybe the world is full of food and sex and spectacle and we're all just hurling towards an apocalypse, in which case it's not your fault."
'Say Anything' is, by far, one of my favorite cheesy love stories. John Cusack, late 80's to early 90's, may just be the love of my life. Kinda forgot how that feels...
July 5th. Random posts, random thoughts...
Yesterday was probably one of the best 4th of July celebrations I've had since I was a teenager. When I was growing up, we went to the beach every 4th of july for a birthday thing/illegal firework situation. Always so much fun. The past 4 or 5 years have not been as awesome... Lack of excitement, boyfriends drinking themselves stupid, me being all emo-like. I decided to make up for it this year- Awesome Awesome picnic with awesome awesome people at Dolores Park. Soooo good!! So much fun, so much sunshine, so much mimosa goodness (maybe a bit too much). Yummy Chocolate, too much chip eating, and board games under a blanket. Le sigh.... It made me re-realize just how much I love SF and how many awesome people are in my life.
Long awesome day, led to a strange, intro-verted night. Which is where Say Anything came into play. And now, a lazy, foggy Sunday. And Netflix. And more thinking...
I think it's time for more. I know its time for more. I really believe that there is a bigger reason for this. And I need to take it as what it is- my time. Its right now. And I can't keep ignoring it. There will always be something. Which something am I supposed to overlook...?
