At this moment in my life, I am absolutely in love with San Francisco. Its like... my significant other, if you will. Always there for me to pick me up when I'm down, always full of surprises, and basically wears a sign that says "I fear commitment." Yes, my kind of man. That being said, San Francisco has shown me some amazing things... Lots of fog, a million dinners out, more new people than I can count, crazy/barely clothed Halloween nights in the Castro (RIP), races in the Park, and bike riding through the Broadway tunnel. But, I must say, that of everything this amazing city that I call home has introduced me to, the amazing dance world has affected me more than anything. The diversity, the passion, the joy of it has shown me new worlds, new languages, and who I am really am.
Its true. This once unsure, fragile little girl who lost herself in negative thoughts, eating disorders, and fear of taking a good hard look at herself is finally not only okay with the image and thoughts that look back at her in the mirror, but is Mother f'in proud of them (Take that former me)! And I'm positive I have my boyfriend's awesome dance community to thank. Ya see... I've danced forever. Age 3... shows, rehearsals, make up I'm pretty sure I was way too young to be wearing. And this went on and on and on... but with little acknowledgment to who I was. Kinda cookie cutter, but I couldn't stop. Flash forward... my first dance class with live drumming. And that was it... HOOKED. for serious. It was like.. all those fears and little things I'd tried to hide for years seemed small. Stupid. Just let it get beat out by the rhythm and energy of the drums, and passionate movement that matched it. I was set free, and I have followed that feeling ever since.
Now, my world revolves around any kind of dance I can get my hands on... Afro-Haitian, Brazilian, Peruvian, Indian... As I've spent the past few years drowning myself in these rhythms, dances, cultures... I began to wonder, what about my roots? I was in Brazil, studying the amazing dances and rhythms in the heart of Afro-Brazilian culture, Salvador, Bahia, when a brazilian man asked me where my family was from. I replied with my "mutt" answer, throwing in French, Native American, Mexican, etc, etc... And he asked me what Mexican culture was like. And I couldn't answer. I didn't know. Something is wrong when someone from an entire different country, continent, culture knows more about the land of your Grandfather than you do. For the first time, I felt ashamed. Not for being who I am, but for not KNOWING who I am. Where I come from. Suddenly, 'Gringa' had a whole new meaning to me. Dammit! Had it not been for the love and and desire to learn about new outside cultures through dance, movement, and music, I would have never come to this realization.
And so it goes... I am diving head first into a world of travel, language barriers, culture shock, and discovery in the land of my Grandfather. Mi Abuelo. The spanish will come, the dances will be LOVED, and any fear and loneliness I come across will be milled over with dance and music of this beautiful land. Mexico, Mexico, here I come.
And so, I say to my significant other... San Francisco, thank you for showing me the joys of Happy Hour, dances from all over the world, and ME! You are amazing.
Love you always,
Vanessa <3
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
And so it begins.... Sorta.
Alright y'all. I am no longer in the comforts of my apartment, do not really have a home, and no longer have a job for the school year in San Francisco- Officially in adventure zone. Yep, that's right, from this point on my mind will be in the moment, more or less, and I am so freakin' excited!
I am officially living in the Mission. I mother f'in love it, and only wish I'd done it sooner. My days seem twice as long, since I've cut out all of my commuting time. I can walk to rehearsal. WALK. in 5 minutes. Seriously. Its Amazing. And its sunny. And I can see the Bay Bridge from my window. And, someone drove by blasting Selena from their car. Finally, I feel like I'm home. After my daddy helped me move in, we sat on my stoop and ate some elote and mango (from the man with the fruit cart, ofcourse) and I felt comfortable.
**Richmond district, you we're good to me for five years, provided me lots of safety and Russian bakeries, access to the beach on those rare days, and peace and quiet. But, I regret to inform you that I have found my spot and I will not be coming back. I will occasionally peak my head in the fog to say hello to dear friends and a Tommy's Margarita, but my presence will not exceed a few hours. I hope you understand.
Sincerely yours,
Vanessa
That being said, I have become a bike riding sun dweller in only one week, and love it so much. Its crazy to think that in less than 2 months, I will again be saying good bye to another area, and see ya later to SF (where my heart is) to venture out into a foreign. I love my life.
In simialar news, I have been dancing as much as I can as of late. I am so sad to think of leaving my Brazilian and haitian dance worlds for a bit. But, I know my dance adventures in Mexico will be as exciting as ever (and difficult, I gotta learn some spanish, yo!).
Last Week, in Tania's afro-brazilian class, we did Maculele. I Loooove Maculele. You can see me doing a bit here....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEqbGlHrR-k
Just look for the red shirt, and big hair. For the record, I had nothing to do with the video or song.
Maculele is a dance of Afro-Brazilian decent, done usually (nowadays) at Capoeria presentations and within folkloric dance groups. Traditionally, performers beat sticks together to the rhythms of the atabaques. Some say it has afro-indigenous roots, some say it originated in carnavals of the 18th century, I say its is awesome traditional form of movement way and absolutely love it. Something about the rhythm of the drums, the intensity of the accents in movement and music, the songs sung with the drums.... whatever it is, I wanna jump higher and turn faster... then do it all over again.
Now, off to a some spanish studying and dinner with my lady loves.
I am officially living in the Mission. I mother f'in love it, and only wish I'd done it sooner. My days seem twice as long, since I've cut out all of my commuting time. I can walk to rehearsal. WALK. in 5 minutes. Seriously. Its Amazing. And its sunny. And I can see the Bay Bridge from my window. And, someone drove by blasting Selena from their car. Finally, I feel like I'm home. After my daddy helped me move in, we sat on my stoop and ate some elote and mango (from the man with the fruit cart, ofcourse) and I felt comfortable.
**Richmond district, you we're good to me for five years, provided me lots of safety and Russian bakeries, access to the beach on those rare days, and peace and quiet. But, I regret to inform you that I have found my spot and I will not be coming back. I will occasionally peak my head in the fog to say hello to dear friends and a Tommy's Margarita, but my presence will not exceed a few hours. I hope you understand.
Sincerely yours,
Vanessa
That being said, I have become a bike riding sun dweller in only one week, and love it so much. Its crazy to think that in less than 2 months, I will again be saying good bye to another area, and see ya later to SF (where my heart is) to venture out into a foreign. I love my life.
In simialar news, I have been dancing as much as I can as of late. I am so sad to think of leaving my Brazilian and haitian dance worlds for a bit. But, I know my dance adventures in Mexico will be as exciting as ever (and difficult, I gotta learn some spanish, yo!).
Last Week, in Tania's afro-brazilian class, we did Maculele. I Loooove Maculele. You can see me doing a bit here....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEqbGlHrR-k
Just look for the red shirt, and big hair. For the record, I had nothing to do with the video or song.
Maculele is a dance of Afro-Brazilian decent, done usually (nowadays) at Capoeria presentations and within folkloric dance groups. Traditionally, performers beat sticks together to the rhythms of the atabaques. Some say it has afro-indigenous roots, some say it originated in carnavals of the 18th century, I say its is awesome traditional form of movement way and absolutely love it. Something about the rhythm of the drums, the intensity of the accents in movement and music, the songs sung with the drums.... whatever it is, I wanna jump higher and turn faster... then do it all over again.
Now, off to a some spanish studying and dinner with my lady loves.
Monday, May 17, 2010
The time has come...
for things to change. Yes, Yes... I have officially committed to a shift in life and giant move. It came to a point where I just HAD to do it. After weeks of waking up at 4 am, I just decided to stop ignoring what my heart was telling me. Now, actually making it happen...
Things have actually gone smoothly. My plan starts with getting out of my comfort zone- moving out of my comfy home with amazing roommates of 5+ years and quitting my job, or at least putting in notice for next school year. This resulted in a sublet on June 1st (moving to the mission for about 2 months, sweeeet) and getting transferred to a different summer school (also in the mission). Then, Mexico bound.
This is all good, my plan is going smoothly. But change.... as good and necessary as it is to grow and evolve, it can be sad and a bit scary. Especially when you've been in this "comfy" zone for as long as I have been. I'm beginning to get "ex- girlfriend syndrome," as I've coined it- getting super jealous when a roommate mentions finding a new roommate for my space or people at work begin asking about who will replace me. I'm somewhat territorial, as my "you'll never find anyone better than me" attitude has clearly gone to show. Hahaha... its true, though. In hearing my roomies interview a new girl today, I almost wanted to run out and say "No, I'm not leaving!" Instead, I buried my woes in healthy but still tasty brownie baking (baking is very therapeutic for me in stressful times. I'm sure the next week and a half will involve a lot of baking with a wooden spoon and random late night jogs, also to relieve stress). The thing is, its not necessarily the fact that I'll be living in a new country in the next 2 months that really affects me, its the sorrow I'm feeling when I think of closing this one chapter of my life, and leaving behind all the awesome comforts and memories, and the changes some relationships will have. Not to say that my closeness with my roomies or attachment to the little boy I've been working with for the past four years will end, they just will never be the same. And that makes me a little sad. Super sad. But, in the end, I know that this is what I need. its overdue, really. And my heart just can't hold out anymore.
All that being said, I am soooo Mother F'in excited!! Adventure, adventure and then some! At this point, i really have no plan past this... and don't really intend to until I leave. I know I'll work, and I know I will study the regional dances of different parts of Mexico... where to begin, is the question.
Packing sucks, I don't know where to begin. I have 5 years of stuff all around me. what to keep? I don't know. but, a yard sale is definitely in the works. And, i need to learn some more spanish. Speaking the past tense will definitely be a good skill to have.
Current Musical obsession:
Video is weird. Song is Awesome. Current story of my life. <3 <3
Things have actually gone smoothly. My plan starts with getting out of my comfort zone- moving out of my comfy home with amazing roommates of 5+ years and quitting my job, or at least putting in notice for next school year. This resulted in a sublet on June 1st (moving to the mission for about 2 months, sweeeet) and getting transferred to a different summer school (also in the mission). Then, Mexico bound.
This is all good, my plan is going smoothly. But change.... as good and necessary as it is to grow and evolve, it can be sad and a bit scary. Especially when you've been in this "comfy" zone for as long as I have been. I'm beginning to get "ex- girlfriend syndrome," as I've coined it- getting super jealous when a roommate mentions finding a new roommate for my space or people at work begin asking about who will replace me. I'm somewhat territorial, as my "you'll never find anyone better than me" attitude has clearly gone to show. Hahaha... its true, though. In hearing my roomies interview a new girl today, I almost wanted to run out and say "No, I'm not leaving!" Instead, I buried my woes in healthy but still tasty brownie baking (baking is very therapeutic for me in stressful times. I'm sure the next week and a half will involve a lot of baking with a wooden spoon and random late night jogs, also to relieve stress). The thing is, its not necessarily the fact that I'll be living in a new country in the next 2 months that really affects me, its the sorrow I'm feeling when I think of closing this one chapter of my life, and leaving behind all the awesome comforts and memories, and the changes some relationships will have. Not to say that my closeness with my roomies or attachment to the little boy I've been working with for the past four years will end, they just will never be the same. And that makes me a little sad. Super sad. But, in the end, I know that this is what I need. its overdue, really. And my heart just can't hold out anymore.
All that being said, I am soooo Mother F'in excited!! Adventure, adventure and then some! At this point, i really have no plan past this... and don't really intend to until I leave. I know I'll work, and I know I will study the regional dances of different parts of Mexico... where to begin, is the question.
Packing sucks, I don't know where to begin. I have 5 years of stuff all around me. what to keep? I don't know. but, a yard sale is definitely in the works. And, i need to learn some more spanish. Speaking the past tense will definitely be a good skill to have.
Current Musical obsession:
Video is weird. Song is Awesome. Current story of my life. <3 <3
Monday, March 29, 2010
Mexico Bound...!!!
So, super shuttle will be picking me up in about 5 hrs. Ofcourse, I am just beginning to pack. with La Bamba in the background (essence of my childhood. Why is Ritchie Valens not my boyfriend...?). Eeeek, I am so excited.
So, I have decided my one ultimate goal is to learn some of the traditional dances of Jalisco while I am there. Hence, packing my character shoes and possibly a dance skirt as well. I am also considering some tap shoes. We'll see.
Currently watching....
Dream man. <3
So, I have decided my one ultimate goal is to learn some of the traditional dances of Jalisco while I am there. Hence, packing my character shoes and possibly a dance skirt as well. I am also considering some tap shoes. We'll see.
Currently watching....
Dream man. <3
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Last night...
I bought a last minute ticket to explore Guadalajara!! I leave next Tuesday at 7am. Holy Crap... I'm SO excited. I have wanted to check it out for a while- I've heard great things about it and know some AMAZING people from there. So, I figured, Why not? Also.... a few days at a nearby beach won't hurt. Eeeek, I can't wait!
Things to do in GDL:
-Couch Surf
-Drink Tequila (home of...)
-Listen to Mariachi music (also, Home Of...)
-Banda Music!!
-Go to Tiangus Cultural (Outdoor market with an "alternative" scene)
-Go to atleast 4 dance classes (would love to find some traditional dance classes somwehere)
-Bull Fiiiiiight...?!
-Punk Rock show
-2 days at a beach, with Mango and Chili (Puerto Vallarta or Colima)
-Buy atleast 3 locals a beer
-Add to my Heart Shaped jewelery and Percussion instrument travel collection
-Salsa Dance
-House Party
-Ride a Bike
-not come home (i'm only half serious)
I think its official... i freakin' love Mexico! 10 years ago... no one would have thought. Oh man... i am just so excited I can barely sit still!! I'm sure this coffee I'm drinking isn't helping much in that department.
Currently listening to...
In preparation.
time to find a couch.
Things to do in GDL:
-Couch Surf
-Drink Tequila (home of...)
-Listen to Mariachi music (also, Home Of...)
-Banda Music!!
-Go to Tiangus Cultural (Outdoor market with an "alternative" scene)
-Go to atleast 4 dance classes (would love to find some traditional dance classes somwehere)
-Bull Fiiiiiight...?!
-Punk Rock show
-2 days at a beach, with Mango and Chili (Puerto Vallarta or Colima)
-Buy atleast 3 locals a beer
-Add to my Heart Shaped jewelery and Percussion instrument travel collection
-Salsa Dance
-House Party
-Ride a Bike
-not come home (i'm only half serious)
I think its official... i freakin' love Mexico! 10 years ago... no one would have thought. Oh man... i am just so excited I can barely sit still!! I'm sure this coffee I'm drinking isn't helping much in that department.
Currently listening to...
In preparation.
time to find a couch.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
I'm itching for a new adventure. A lot. Siiiiigh.
I've been dancing a lot (surprise, surprise. I know). But, really. Been doing a good amount of events with the Haitian Company, Afoutayi. Following the tragic Earthquake in Haiti, my friends (and dance directors family) were brought over. We've been doing a lot of benefits for them. We also had a corporate gig in San Jose, which definitely qualified as a "sick day" from my day to day life. Oh, how I would love to just PERFORM to live. Last night, I did a tap improv piece at a benefit. It was pretty much awesome. I finally got a chance to do a call and response with a drummer. an amazing Puerto Rican drummer, at that. We just went for it, throw out some rhythms, and did a kick-ass job with it. My calling.... to a tap dancer Extraordinaire? I'm thinking yes.
I have another show with my Brazilian Company, Aguas Da Bahia, tonight. I wish all of my weekends were like this. Its really all I want to do.
Anyway, its already March (just about) and that really scares me. Oh well... just need to buy another plane ticket on a whim.
Current Musical Obsession, thanks to my amazing Mexican buddy in Copenhagen. <3 <3
I've been dancing a lot (surprise, surprise. I know). But, really. Been doing a good amount of events with the Haitian Company, Afoutayi. Following the tragic Earthquake in Haiti, my friends (and dance directors family) were brought over. We've been doing a lot of benefits for them. We also had a corporate gig in San Jose, which definitely qualified as a "sick day" from my day to day life. Oh, how I would love to just PERFORM to live. Last night, I did a tap improv piece at a benefit. It was pretty much awesome. I finally got a chance to do a call and response with a drummer. an amazing Puerto Rican drummer, at that. We just went for it, throw out some rhythms, and did a kick-ass job with it. My calling.... to a tap dancer Extraordinaire? I'm thinking yes.
I have another show with my Brazilian Company, Aguas Da Bahia, tonight. I wish all of my weekends were like this. Its really all I want to do.
Anyway, its already March (just about) and that really scares me. Oh well... just need to buy another plane ticket on a whim.
Current Musical Obsession, thanks to my amazing Mexican buddy in Copenhagen. <3 <3
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Oh, Rainy SF...
Well, it is now 2010. Aren't we supposed to have hover boards and meals in pill form by now? Dammit, Back to the Future!!
The past week+ has been nothing but rain. Lots of Rain. Windy rain. All of a sudden hide under a garage door rain. Yes, all true. Not the best situation for a gal sans car. However, I manage. I have also managed to hibernate for most of this month due to said rain and a ridiculous desire to finish an online certification course I started. Yes, its all part of plan to be able to support myself in foreign lands. Its all good and dandy, I just want it DONE. Thus, locking myself in my room for hours on end or sitting in random cafes with WI-FI for hours on end. At least my laptop is getting good use. And my head feels like its gonna explode every now and then. Oh well, all in good time.
In between I've managed some good times and constructive brainstorming. Karaoke craziness, Vandella awesomeness, rehearsin' like crazy (stay tuned for info on a Haiti relief event), and lots of planning for a special needs dance class I WILL start in the next month. I'll have a life one day. Once the rain stops, I may pop my head out. Until then, my record player and note-taking nerdyness will continue to keep me company. Ooooh, that and Good Tea Sweet and Spicy flavor. Hot damn, that stuff is goooood!
Song of the moment...
Sing it, grrrrrrrrrrrl. <3
The past week+ has been nothing but rain. Lots of Rain. Windy rain. All of a sudden hide under a garage door rain. Yes, all true. Not the best situation for a gal sans car. However, I manage. I have also managed to hibernate for most of this month due to said rain and a ridiculous desire to finish an online certification course I started. Yes, its all part of plan to be able to support myself in foreign lands. Its all good and dandy, I just want it DONE. Thus, locking myself in my room for hours on end or sitting in random cafes with WI-FI for hours on end. At least my laptop is getting good use. And my head feels like its gonna explode every now and then. Oh well, all in good time.
In between I've managed some good times and constructive brainstorming. Karaoke craziness, Vandella awesomeness, rehearsin' like crazy (stay tuned for info on a Haiti relief event), and lots of planning for a special needs dance class I WILL start in the next month. I'll have a life one day. Once the rain stops, I may pop my head out. Until then, my record player and note-taking nerdyness will continue to keep me company. Ooooh, that and Good Tea Sweet and Spicy flavor. Hot damn, that stuff is goooood!
Song of the moment...
Sing it, grrrrrrrrrrrl. <3
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